Draft 2 Review

Page by page. You know those are beautiful, just beautiful pages. I think the picture got a little zoomed in. The one I had originally was zoomed out way in the canyon. So you could just see the shell in the distance. The idea was that when you turn it, it gets closer.

Got it. I love it. Love it.

I was curious what you thought of the medium change, like he's real, looks realistic and then it changes to 2D and watercolor throughout.

I think he likes it. This is a beautiful page. He was drawn first to the rock, to the octopus, which I love, especially because the shell was first closed and then open.

Maybe getting a little bit more contrast in the back so Dot pops up a little more. I think right now the robot feels like part of the background. Just a tiny bit more pop, not too much.

It's perfect. We don't have to even change that.

Page number two. They zoom through bubbles, they sit to see with the gathered tiny shells, they love adventures. Pax loves this page and I really don't want to change it but as an adult, I know it was my idea to bring the kelp forest here and mix it with coral reef, but the conceptual inconsistency bothers my scientific brain. I would probably want to keep the whole book in coral reef.

So with this one you could still have some seaweed, still going to be more green but less of the kelp. He loves the red fish and the seal so we could keep some kind of red fish but more tropical.

I would like to maybe have them more hiding behind the coral reef or hiding in the shell. Like doing hide and seek. I'll update the text to be more like "they played hide and seek, they gathered tiny shells."

I can zoom out the image so it's a little bit of a hide and seek game, so you can find them. "Where is Ollie? Where is Dot?" And he's kind of hidden. The other animals are visible too.

I was thinking what if we use a progression through colors throughout the pages. Maybe we start white for title pages, then pink, then red, and the colors are more predominant of what's in the ecosystem, moving into black.

The challenge with this book is the aquarium is so colorful. We may want to lean into colorful because Pax seems to be loving this. We may want to play with dominant colors more with Mars, the second book.

That's true. Mars is more toned and monochromatic versus the ocean which is super bright colors. So keeping each page really colorful, but then also moving to the gradient of losing light as we go down.

Exactly, that will keep the gradient. I love how natural and realistic it is.

I love this page. What I really love is there's this edge. There's a moment of suspension, a moment of courage. Maybe even more contrast, brighten and dark, to show this edge. Like "we're going into something else, change is going to happen."

Extending the reef to the rest of the page, maybe even where the text is.

I want the text to be more interactive. I'll ask a question to Pax. Like "are you ready?" Also, I have a problem with Dot's eyes on this page. I think I like more consistent eyes. They change every page.

We can play with different types of eyes. The one with a bit more natural light refraction versus the stark dots.

I want the focus to go on the edge where the contrast is. Ollie is just on this edge.

I can extend the image. There's a lot of the page on the left side to work with. If you like this image, we can extend it to be the whole spread, all image.

Perfect. I love it. We could have all of them like that, full images.

For the canyon background, I have different styles: collage, watercolor, line work ink. My thought is to add ink line silhouettes of things in the background and layer in more detail.

It's more dark here, plain, because it's unknown. Focus on the edge. The biggest center of attention is the edge. Most detailed color rainbow, octopus sitting on the edge, and the mystery of the dark.

Should we shift the characters to the left page and have the darkness on the full right page with the text since it's more empty?

Yeah. So when you read this and then it says "are you ready to go in there?" It's amazing.

This one is beautiful. My challenge is the color reef takes too much attention away from the going down moment, the jump. There was courage required to jump off the edge. I would love to reuse this beautiful reef scene somewhere else.

Dot is a bit too big here. I agree.

In comparison to the cover image which is further away... this one is way better. We could create something similar but more zoomed out so you can see the drop.

I love that.

My artist friend created the one with movement. It gives this dynamism, the flowing legs. That movement is what I want.

What do you think about zooming that one out more? So we have more density.

The starry eyes, we can play with different eyes for sure.

Between those two, Pax loves the zoomed out one way more. He's very drawn to the whale shadow page. I was thinking of making the shadow bigger. Maybe the whole top of the spread. Switch the order: vastness first without shadow, then zoom in with big shadow.

Do you think it would span across both pages, a full spread?

Pax loves the shadow. Keep the illustration showing how beautiful the deep is. The progression: most zoomed out and flat, then zoomed in with shadow, then much more zoomed in.

I like that. I'll play with ideas and give you variations. The shadow will work across two pages. It's more gradual now, not jarring.

I worry it's too intense for him. He almost stops because he's concerned. Then he laughs. First concerned, then laughs. Maybe we make it look more cute but scared.

I can try slight changes in how open his eyes are. It's comforting to see the eye a little bit. Slight changes to look more personable and less like in pain.

This is a very different style of octopus. We need to make that guy more consistent.

More consistent. But I like that style of illustration. Definitely.

Name It, Feel It, Breathe. I will combine them. Too long when reading. This is beautiful aesthetically, the glow, comforting light. Three steps combined into fewer pages.

So the first page is naming the emotion, breathing action is the last page.

Name it, feel the body, then breathe big one. He loves this one. The baby immediately wants to go to breathing. First two steps combined, then breathing gets its own moment.

One image, maybe one page with two scenes then the breathing. I'll work on ideas for different layouts. A sequence that can be a one-page tool.

Maybe do breathing first. Then naming. Let me think about it.

I'll play with images, you play with text. The idea is to get faster to breathing because the child wants to breathe together with the octopus.

The style came out a little realistic and I liked it. I love the glow on the octopus, the glitter.

Making the character more similar though. And scenery, keep it sparse?

I like sparse. This is a key skill in the book. I want to spend time here. Option one: two images on one page. Option two: one big image with bubbles and tentacles on chest. More simplified, more focus on breathing.

I like one image and two texts. Image in center, text on sides. "I'm here with you."

The point is one page. The child can be breathing, more focused. He keeps going back to this page. Too many pages in the dark right now.

Too big of a step? Too bright suddenly? I was thinking of keeping the reveal still in the dark, then the next one with the whale be the really bright one.

The reveal could be a bit more, still dark.

When they're going deep, I'd like a gradient from light blue to dark blue. No color in the deep. When you scuba dive, red disappears. Red is only in shallow water. All green and blue down deep.

The transition: blue hue. Edge has color. Then dark dark dark. Then transition blue hue. Then color back.

When shadow reveals, lighter color but still monochromatic blue, transition phase. Then they go up to color, going home.

"They swam on a little deeper, a little braver" doesn't work anymore. They're going back home. He's a proud and happy octopus now. Accomplished. Enjoying more fun going home.

The page before the ending: same scene from the beginning, zoomed out canyon. Shell open, waiting for them to go back in. Like the very first one but open with nobody in it.

I love it. We want to hide those details. Maybe after the third read, you notice.

The Easter egg snail. SpongeBob already has a pet snail. But I can still do the snail as an Easter egg, they're my favorite animal. The seahorse was Ollie's little pal.

Snail will be great. Make your own snail that you love. If it's your favorite animal, let's make your little pet of the story.

Maybe a turtle too. I love this book. Once you send me the transcript, I want to upgrade the text.

You can have one edition that's very expensive, beautiful textures. And another that's like five dollars, for a non-profit, so it can reach all families.

An unbox edition with hard box and gold foil title. Board book edition smaller, more handy.

Two editions: bigger hardcover and boardbook. Second book: Ollie and Dot "Go Beyond" or similar. About anger and frustration, on Mars. Dot changes to copper instead of pearl.

I'm excited. Reading the Isaac novel about Elon and SpaceX. In rocket mode.

I finished Children of Time. Different intelligence, evolutionary. Thousands of years perspective plus zoom into individual characters. Highly recommend.

Keep eyes on every page, for kids it's hard when eyes disappear. Keep size proportion the same. I thought about what Johnny Ive would say: everything about simplifying. What's simpler for a futuristic robot? I want to give him the next version of the book.

Our book will go to Johnny Ive. That's amazing.

And Sam Altman's baby Atlas. And a guy from Anthropic whose baby is named KV, like key value store. I'll write handwritten dedications.

Mars book about anger and frustration. I see us publishing these. I'll go to a publisher. It makes sense to create an entity. Two, three books, a website. Maybe a game, educational purpose. More mindfulness for children.

Ollie's third day, three days old. A baby octopus is tiny. The shell is super small. On the back page, the depth they're going down is actually just a three foot drop. He's so tiny it feels like a giant drop. Each book he gets a little older.

What do you think of the gold stipple art? The golden sparkles?

I like the glitter. Silver when he's brown. Mars book will have something different.

I'll keep you posted. Happy to chat and show updates throughout the week.

I'll update the text, will take two days. I'll sleep on it. And I need one diagram for my second essay. Let me make a different voice note for that.